Recently, my essay "A New Narrative" was published in the magazine Bear Tracks News.
You can find the original post by clicking on the image below.
A New Narrative
2020 - My year of clarity, regeneration, and the dawn of a new narrative.
From the past, I see the lessons I’ve learned. Every heartbreak, every struggle, every tear; my teachers.
In the present, I see my milestones, my growth. Seeds I planted long ago in prayers and hope are sprouting all around me. I will water them in gratitude, not taking for granted the effort it took for them to break through the soil.
For the future, I see myself thriving in a world of my own creations, my dreams coming in to being. I know that Creator will make me the woman I need to be to fulfill my destiny, my purpose for walking the planet at this time. I know that the road won’t be easy, that the twists and turns, ups and downs will be difficult, even excruciatingly so. It’s nothing that my body and I can’t handle, considering the fire we walked through to get us here, today. Just like before, these upcoming battles will make me strong, they will make me into who I need to be, who I was made to be.
For those of us who were born into traumatic situations, who were told that our sole purpose in life was to bear the pain that others considered unbearable, who were forced into a role that should never have been placed upon us, this is our time.
This is our time to heal.
This is our time to heal our perception of love that was founded on the misguided deeds of wounded beings whose pain was so vast they cowered at the sight of it, using us as a human shield.
We are the courageous ones, who remember the pain once put upon us and absorb it,
attempting to spare others the same fate.
We are the courageous ones who looked pain in the eye and did not cower but fought the
darkness as it consumed us. Sacrificing ourselves, so that others might be spared.
But this is not love.
Love does not ask you to sacrifice your wellbeing.
Love does not take advantage.
Love does not steal your life force in an attempt to make itself stronger.
So, we rewrite the narrative.
Wiser now, after being misled by those who were hurt, who told us to hold their pain for them. Who told us that if we didn’t comply, we would never be worthy of receiving love and validation.
Wiser now, having seen and walked through the darkness by ourselves.
Wiser now, seeing that we have one responsibility in life – to heal our own pain. We are solely responsible for that, no one else is.
So, we heal.
We heal so that we won’t pass our pain, like a game of hot potato, to unsuspecting innocent souls.
We heal and we heal our bloodline, our descendants.
We heal and we heal our communities, our world.
We heal so the pain loses its grip over our actions and the light inside each of us.
We heal so that we can shine.
This is my prayer for this year, 2020;
that we heal, regenerate, and shine.